We’re Number Six!

December 20, 2006 at 10:22 pm 2 comments

I spoke with my agency today. I had to get some sort of update on how the referrals were coming and what kind of wait were we looking at. I got some nice little statistics. We are #6 on the list, with five other families in line before us also waiting for girls. One really good thing is that the referrals are coming in groups of two or three. Also, since we aren’t requesting a newborn, we might get a referral sooner rather than later. Can I get a Wooo Hoo!? The social worker I spoke with was so nice. She said it’s the hardest thing to know that a referral is coming, but not knowing when it’s coming.

Then, amidst all the hope and happiness I feel, a part of me remembers and pauses. My getting a referral soon means that right about now or recently, a mother made a choice that she will live with forever in giving her child to an orphanage for adoption. Somewhere, right now in Kyrgyzstan is a woman who is ailing physically or emotionally or psychologically or all three. She may not be living. All of that pain she endures and carries with her. She did her best. She did what she could. She did what she felt she must do. She did because she may have had no other choice.

I’m not sure how much information will be available from my daughter’s file. I am hoping there is a lot for my daughter’s sake. I will weave into our lives here, her life, her mother’s life, the life and history of her culture. I will not be able to be a mom to her without honoring her first mom. And every time my daughter cries for what seems to be an unknown reason, or rages and throws fits when all is seemingly well, I will remember her first mother’s tears and I will hold my daughter ever closer, hoping that the closeness and love that I feel reaches all the way to Kyrgyzstan and her first mother will know that her daughter is loved.

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Entry filed under: Adoption, International Adoption, Kyrgyzstan, Motherhood.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. reunionwritings  |  December 21, 2006 at 4:15 am

    You can send photos and news every year or twice a year, whatever feels best for you.

    Let the institution know that you want to do that, hope that they will pass that on to the mother/family.

    You will be a wonderful mother.

    Reply
  • 2. Tiffanni  |  December 30, 2006 at 10:18 am

    Sometimes its difficult when you really think about what happens on the other side of adoption, isn’t it?
    Any more news from your agency?

    Reply

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