How To Mess up Two Women’s Lives With Hardly Any Effort – A True Story of Lies, Secrecy & Denial

August 12, 2008 at 12:51 pm 4 comments

If you happen to have about 45 minutes or so…here’s a truly compelling story from NPR.  This isn’t your ordinary baby-switching story.  In this piece, in which all major players are interviewed, you will hear about how one of the mothers knew  that her baby had been switched, but went along with her husband’s wishes not to make any waves or make the doctor look incompetent.  You will really be hooked after about 5 minutes listening to this.  So, grab your knitting, or fill your sink with dishes or find something to do while you listen.  You’ll need something to do so you can channel your shock and outrage.


Entry filed under: Adoption, Adoption Blog, Adoption Ethics, birth mothers, Children, Daughters, Family, first mothers, Lies, Motherhood, Parenting, rants.

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4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. M.  |  August 12, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    ooh, looking forward to listening when I get home.

  • 2. Margie (Third Mom)  |  August 13, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    This is absolutely stunning. What got me was how relaxed they all sound about it. No one is screaming mad, which I would be.

    You can’t make this stuff up, that’s for sure.

  • 3. Tina  |  August 13, 2008 at 4:33 pm


    I KNOW!! Especially for Marti, who seems to be carrying the biggest loss in this whole mess. She’s in so much pain.

    The other thing that’s interesting in this situation is that it’s implicit that the children are different because they were switched, but that in adoption, it was supposed to be ‘just the same’

    It’s a weird non-adoption story, but still riddled with adoption stuff.

  • 4. Suzanne  |  August 15, 2008 at 9:43 am

    Oh. My. God.

    What amazed me, aside from the heartbreak of the story itself, is that as I kept hearing from each of the women involved, I thought, “How am I ever going to be able to understand why Mrs. Miller did what she did? How am I ever going to feel anything but anger for her?” But by the time her part of the interview was over, my heart found a way to hurt for her as well. I certainly didn’t agree with what she did. But I did start to see it through her eyes and I hurt for her.

    It’s easy for me to sit in judgement here in liberal California, in 2008, and think, “How could you not stand up to your husband and do what you knew was right?” But hers was such a different reality than mine.

    I’m really conflicted by my feelings of sadness for her. But they exist along with my deep sadness for all the family members involved.



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